Loss of appetite: spiritual meaning and emotional causes

What loss of appetite is

Loss of appetite means you want to eat less than usual, or not at all. It is a symptom, not an illness, and it is very common. Short spells often come with an infection such as a cold, flu or a stomach bug, with nausea, pain or constipation, or with stress, worry and grief. Some medicines dull the appetite, and appetite also tends to fall gently with age.

When it lasts, it can be a sign of something that needs attention: depression, a thyroid problem, liver or kidney disease, heart failure, a long-term infection or another serious illness. The most important warning sign is weight loss you were not trying for. A GP will ask about your weight, mood and other symptoms, and may arrange blood tests. Treatment depends on the cause. Appetite usually comes back once the illness or the medicine behind it is dealt with.

The emotional meaning of loss of appetite

Food is linked to life. Spiritually, when the appetite goes, the question is what has happened to your appetite for life.

A joy that has gone quiet

A loss of appetite is read as a loss of joy or motivation, often tied to a particular person or situation. Sometimes there is also an old sense of guilt underneath: a feeling that you do not quite deserve the good things of life, that you are afraid, or that you need to protect yourself.

So absorbed you forget to eat

You can also be so focused on one situation in your life that eating simply slips your mind. Work, a worry, a problem to solve: everything goes there, and the body's needs come last.

Turning away from the new

Spiritually, a lost appetite can mean that you are refusing to move forward. New impressions and new experiences, the kind that could make you even more joyful, are kept at the door. Your emotions "spoil your appetite", in French and in English alike. You push away your wishes, your aspirations, your passions, your curiosity, your tastes. Desire in general, including desire for closeness, may also slow down. In the language of the stomach, you refuse to take in, digest and eat what is new, because it does not seem to suit you.

Letting others swallow your place

You may believe that other people crush you, or stop you from living. Spiritually, the question turns back towards you: do you prefer, in part, to blend into the crowd, or to be absorbed by someone else, often a partner or a parent? French has an expression for this: to let someone "eat the wool off your back", meaning to let yourself be exploited without reacting. There may be a habit of sacrificing yourself, believing you do not deserve better and hoping to be approved of.

After someone leaves

The appetite often fades after someone dear has gone: a death, a break-up, a move, a child leaving home. You feel lost. The wound is very large, and by not looking after yourself you may, without meaning to, keep it open. Spiritually, the body is grieving alongside you. Eating again is not a betrayal of the person you miss. It is a way of staying alive to the life that continues. If grief feels too heavy, support from your GP or a bereavement service can help.

A gentler way to hold it

• Stay open-hearted. Leave a door open to adventure and to life, even if you only step through it a little.
• Raise your own worth. Notice one thing each day that you do well, and let yourself believe you deserve good things.
• Welcome a new taste. Try one new impression this week: a dish, a place, a conversation. Take one step further than usual.
• Remember the proverb. In French, "appetite comes with eating". Life comes with living, one small mouthful at a time.
• Take your place. Notice where you disappear into someone else's life, and claim one small space that is yours.
• Let your desires out. The wishes and passions you have set aside are asking to be expressed, through creativity, play or anything that feels alive to you.