Multiple sclerosis: spiritual meaning and emotional causes

What multiple sclerosis is

Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a lifelong condition of the brain and spinal cord. The immune system attacks myelin, the protective sheath around nerve fibres, causing inflammation and scarring ("plaques" or "lesions"). This disrupts the messages travelling along the nerves.

Symptoms vary greatly from person to person. They can include problems with vision (often blurring or pain in one eye from optic neuritis), numbness or tingling, fatigue, muscle stiffness or spasms, weakness, problems with balance and walking, bladder and bowel problems, and difficulties with thinking or memory. MS is usually diagnosed between the ages of 20 and 50 and is two to three times more common in women. Most people start with relapsing-remitting MS, with attacks followed by recovery; over time some develop a progressive form, and a minority have a progressive course from the start.

The cause is not fully understood. Genes, low vitamin D, smoking and past infection with the Epstein-Barr virus all appear to play a part. MS is not caused by your character, your thoughts, a fright or a fall. It is diagnosed by a neurologist, usually with an MRI scan and sometimes a lumbar puncture. There is no cure yet, but disease-modifying treatments reduce relapses and slow the build-up of disability, steroids can shorten a relapse, and many symptoms can be treated. MS nurses, physiotherapy and occupational therapy are an important part of care. Depression is also common with MS and is treatable.

Nothing on this page is a reason to stop, delay or change your MS treatment. The spiritual interpretation that follows sits alongside medical care, never in place of it. It offers another angle, for those who want to look at how they live with what is happening in their body.

The emotional meaning of multiple sclerosis

Spiritually, MS is linked to the image of a body caught in a cage, more and more limited in its movements. It often comes with great suffering and a sense of discouragement about life. The question it raises is where you feel trapped, paralysed or held in place.

A life that has lost its sweetness

In French, the word for the loss of myelin, démyélinisation, contains the sound of miel, honey. Heard that way, it asks whether life has lost its sweetness. There may be a deep revolt inside you, and a sense of no longer having any spring in your step.

Doing everything yourself

MS is associated with a strong, even iron, will. You may feel obliged to do everything yourself, refuse to make mistakes and find it hard to accept help or constraints, particularly from family. Holding that line can mean being very hard on your own thoughts and keeping your emotions at a distance. The thought of failing can feel terrifying.

The fear of being let down

The French name, sclérose en plaques, carries a second echo: plaqué, dumped or left standing. Spiritually, MS is linked to a fear of being left behind, of being let down or dropped. It can also touch the fear of falling, literally or figuratively: a fall from height, a fall in status, a loss of rank or position at work, even "falling" in love or, in the French expression, "falling" pregnant. These fears can leave you shaken and feeling there is no future ahead.

Judged, diminished, crushed

Harsh judgement, aimed at yourself or at others, sits close to this reading. If you have been belittled or put down, you may have come to believe you are worth little. Feeling diminished, it can seem as if life is crushing you, and it becomes hard to stand tall. The legs, which carry you forward, take on that image of an advance that has become too heavy.

Living for someone else

At any age, you may have felt you were not allowed your own plans, your own growth, your own opinion. Some people take on the task of fulfilling a parent's wishes, becoming, as it were, "their arms and legs", and then feel they are never good enough for them. Control becomes a defence: wanting everything to go your way. Self-criticism closes the cage further, and a belief may settle that suffering is your lot and rest is something you have not earned.

Learning to lean

When illness brings more need of others, it can stir old feelings about dependence and about being cared for, sometimes a longing for the tenderness of a mother you can no longer turn to. Spiritually, the tired body can be heard as an invitation to stop fighting alone, to accept that you can need other people, and to learn to trust. You might gently ask yourself whether adult responsibilities have become too heavy, and which of them are truly yours.

Anger and silence

Inflammation is read as a burning, deeply emotional rage. Keeping quiet about your real feelings can lead you down roads chosen to please others rather than the direction you want. Ask yourself, without blame, whether there is love you feel you did not receive, and what you have not yet allowed yourself to say.

A gentler way to hold it

• Keep your care in place. Your neurologist, MS nurse and treatments are part of looking after yourself. Bring your questions and feelings to them too.
• Trust your inner guide. Listen for what you truly want, and recognise that others are also doing the best they know how. That brings more flexibility and understanding.
• Own your feelings. Welcome what you feel as part of you. Your life can have its own meaning without anyone else's approval.
• Let others help. Accept one offer of help this week, and notice what it is like to lean a little.
• Leave the old comments behind. Put down the negative things that were said about you, by family or by others.
• Add sweetness. Give yourself more gentleness, and follow the flow of small pleasures in your days.
• Take off the costume. If you have been playing the cheerful clown, allow your real light to show.