Astigmatism: spiritual meaning and emotional causes

What astigmatism is

Astigmatism is a common refractive error, a problem with the way the eye focuses light. Normally the cornea, the clear front window of the eye, and the lens behind it are evenly curved, like a football. In astigmatism one of them is curved more in one direction than the other, more like a rugby ball, so light focuses unevenly and images look blurred or stretched at every distance. It often goes with myopia or farsightedness.

Most people have a little astigmatism without noticing. When it is more marked, it can cause blurred or distorted vision, eye strain, squinting, difficulty seeing at night, and headaches after reading or screen work. It is usually present from birth and often runs in families, and it can change slowly over the years. Less often it follows an eye injury or surgery, or comes from keratoconus, a condition in which the cornea thins and bulges. Using your eyes a great deal does not wear them out or cause astigmatism.

Astigmatism is found with a routine eye test from an optician. It is easily corrected with glasses or contact lenses designed for it (toric lenses), and some adults choose laser eye surgery.

The emotional meaning of astigmatism

In astigmatism, the world looks as if it were seen in a distorting mirror. Spiritually, it is often linked to a fear of looking yourself in the face, just as you are.

A distorting mirror

When the eyes do not work well together, it can reflect thoughts and ways of acting that are out of step with the people around you, which creates inner conflict. You may want to build a different reality for yourself, and to free yourself from the influence of your parents, or of anyone you have felt was overbearing or abusive.

Eyes that stayed afraid

Some people with astigmatism grew up around rage, anger or fear. Symbolically, the eyes can keep that look of fright, and the muscles around them can seem to stay braced, as if the shock had never ended. Your eyes may also feel irritated when what you see, outside or inside yourself, irritates you. If you grew up with violence at home, talking it through with a counsellor or therapist can help.

Ideal and reality

Your picture of an ideal world may be very far from reality, so you would rather not see all the details. For example, if you idealised your father and then found out that he was quite different, you may refuse to resemble him and decide, "I will manage on my own."

Labels and distance

You may feel contempt, towards yourself and towards others, and put labels on people easily. This can make relationships difficult, especially with a partner, from whom you keep a certain distance. You may feel slighted but keep everything to yourself, never letting your inner pain show. Enduring is very hard, and the reality has to be bent a little to be bearable. The emotional scars stay out of sight.

Wanting to see everything

Astigmatism is also linked to great curiosity, an endless need to see everything. Spiritually, the eyes invite you to take the time you need to really appreciate things, instead of taking everything in at once. They may also invite you to recognise your own beauty, and the remarkable person you are.

Left side or right side?

Astigmatism is often stronger in one eye. In this approach, the right side of the body carries the active, "masculine" principle and the left side the receptive, "feminine" one, in men and women alike. See left and right sides of the body.

• The right eye is linked to how you see the outer world: logic, direction, work, and your relationship with the men in your life, a father above all.
• The left eye is linked to how you see your inner world: feelings, intuition, tenderness, and your relationship with the women in your life, a mother above all.

A gentler way to hold it

The aim is not to blame yourself for the shape of your eye. Astigmatism is usually inherited and is simply corrected. The emotional perspective invites you to look at how you see yourself and the people around you.

• Look at yourself as you are. Spend a moment with your own reflection and notice what you see without judging it.
• Stay in touch with your feelings. Let yourself know what you feel, even when it is uncomfortable.
• Let someone see your scars. Share a little of what hurts with a person you trust.
• Put down the labels. Try meeting one person as they are, not as the box you put them in.
• Take your time. Look at one thing slowly and fully, instead of trying to see everything.
• Open to love. Let yourself receive affection, and show yours to others.
• Ask to see the truth. Listen to your inner voice and let it help you take stock of your life with clear eyes.